a n i m a t i o n . w o r d s & p i c t u r e s . f o r u m
* * *
RAGECORP AND ME!By: Robin 02.06.2004 Foreweordsths by Somebody: Alright, now let us allow Robin to proceed with the hot hot glory:
 
This story of love and happiness begins one fine afternoon as your humble narrator happily chats away on his aol instant messenging machine. I leave my computer briefly to make a sandwich and when I return, I am greeted by strange message from someone named ragecorptk asking me "Are you the owner of fucksociety?", then proceeding to sign off before I could reply. Confused by such a random message, I saved this gentleman's name to my aol instant messenger buddy list in order to locate him to later clear up this confusion. About a week later, I discovered his name on my list and decided to investigate into his strange little inquiry. What follows is the sextacular epic of an adventure with my pal, Ragecorp. Neotanooki: HI friend! ragecorptk: who is this? Neotanooki: i dont know, you messagefd me a while ago so i was liek "who coiuld this individual be?" and added you
ragecorptk: Do you own a website?
ragecorptk: YEAH!!! Neotanooki: how may i help you, friend? ragecorptk: I wanted to do a link exchange
Anyhow, I informed him that I would "deploy a priority order to The Fuck Society's head web developer to add his banners" and that "It will take 5-7 business days". And sure enough, after 7 business days, I see him once again... ragecorptk: we need to talk Neotanooki: You're on! exellent. I need to talk to you ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: I didn't see my banners ragecorptk: where are they ragecorptk: I am not mad I was informed that this little imp located the staff page on fs and began contacting everyone Neotanooki: My business partner informed me that you spoke with his girlfriend ragecorptk: yeah Neotanooki: Yes, friend. please bear with me ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: what? ragecorptk: please just be truthful and tell me what is happening Neotanooki: during our meeting this morning, Tim.. this new guy.. sort of a patriarch, you know? anyhow, hes in marketing so he basically has the last say in anything we do.. HAHA "marketing" .. business-talk Neotanooki: ok ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: let me guess ragecorptk: he said no Neotanooki: well, i personally find your site to be ideal, content filled, and suitably patriotic Neotanooki: No no no no, we;ll definetly add your banners ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: but when lets just see how far i can go with this guy... Neotanooki: He just needs something else.. just one more thing to verify the site's patriotism, yknow? ragecorptk: dude ragecorptk: I have given you not one Neotanooki: His deal was, he would not only add banners, but give a DIRECT POPUP to your site ragecorptk: but TWO FRONT PAGE BANNERS Neotanooki: that means that you will share ALL HITS that The Fuck Society gets! Neotanooki: and all you have to do is embed a patriotic midi file to proudly usher in our newfound partnership I really thought at this point, he would catch on and this trolling would come to an end ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: I will give you guys a banner ragecorptk: in our cranks section Neotanooki: if you wish to use it ragecorptk: a 468x60 banner ragecorptk: you put whatever you want on it ragecorptk: wait ragecorptk: I will use anything you send me ragecorptk: its just you keep on making me add MORE THINGS TO MY SITE ragecorptk: and I haven ragecorptk: gotten SHIT out of the deal yet Neotanooki: yes yes, friend. i sincerely apologize ragecorptk: what do I need to add Neotanooki: it's not me, i want us to link your site. it's just my team cannot agree on anything.. it's just chaos.. Neotanooki: you know what its like trying to get a team to agree, yknow? ragecorptk: yeah ragecorptk: I know how that goes ragecorptk: LOOK ragecorptk: here is what I will do ragecorptk: send me either a 468x60 banner ragecorptk: or another one of those flags ragecorptk: with THEFUCKSOCIETY ON THEM ragecorptk: and I will add them to the site ragecorptk: okay? Neotanooki: No no, we here at The Fuck Society dont need anymore banners on your site, the two flags are most exellent ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: what do you want me to add then? Neotanooki: http://www.jeannepasero.com/starsstripes.mid we have found this. a fine anthem that will usher in a new era in patriotic humor site partnerships! Neotanooki: will you answer the call to proudly embed it on your web site ? ragecorptk: yes ragecorptk: NO MORE ADDING THINGS TO MY SITE THOUGH ragecorptk: and I won't put it on my front page Neotanooki: this is the last thing, i promise ragecorptk: it will go in the literature section Neotanooki: it wont take up any space. just play Neotanooki: im not sure Tim would go for that, friend... . ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: here is the thing Neotanooki: yes? ragecorptk: I need to keep my site in good condition for the customers ragecorptk: and visitors ragecorptk: adding all of this crap to the front page ragecorptk: only makes the site longer to load ragecorptk: so I will put it in the CRANKS section (MOST HITS) ragecorptk: and that is all I can do for now. Neotanooki: I agree. though the market research team affiliates say that midi files are the number one way for sites to generate hits initially LOL Neotanooki: the song gets in their heads Neotanooki: and it reminds them of the site ragecorptk: IT WONT EVEN LET ME DOWNLOAD IT!! Neotanooki: Tim specifically stated he wanted on the front page, I can't do anything about that, friend Neotanooki: huh? ragecorptk: DO YOU WANT ME TO LINK IT TO MY SITE ragecorptk: OR EMBED IT Neotanooki: embed ragecorptk: IT WON'T LET ME DOWNLOAD IT ragecorptk: AND CAN I SPEAK WITH TIM LOL Neotanooki: Please, friend, calm down. let me help you ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: let me speak with Tim ok ragecorptk: I personally respect you Neotanooki: He's not in today, only on wednesday and thursday mornings ragecorptk: but I don't like to play the back and forth game ragecorptk: FINE ragecorptk: I CANT DOWNLOAD THE FILE THOUGH ragecorptk: SO SEND IT TO ME ragecorptk: on here ragecorptk: K Neotanooki: Neither do I. I just want to put this cumbersome thing behind us Neotanooki: ok, half a moment ragecorptk: k ragecorptk: email it to slackerwacker@msn.com ragecorptk: and I will add it as soon as you put my banner up ragecorptk: ! ragecorptk: k? ragecorptk: are you there? Neotanooki: its right here http://www.jeannepasero.com/patmidis.html just scroll down til you see "stars and stripes forever", then right click and save as Neotanooki: of course, you could always directly link that file ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: I will embed it to my site ragecorptk: but from today you have 48 hrs. to put my banners up Neotanooki: Please do not threaten my organization with impending deadlines, friend ragecorptk: dude ragecorptk: I have given you weeks ragecorptk: two ragecorptk: your flags have been up ragecorptk: getting you guys traffic ragecorptk: while I have been left in the blue ragecorptk: I AM NOT THREATENING YOU ragecorptk: I am just telling you that you guys have been FUCKING ME AROUND ragecorptk: and I have gotten shit out of this deal? ragecorptk: you know it Neotanooki: There has been trouble amonst the offices lately, it's been a difficult time for me too, friend ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: it won't let me download it Neotanooki: I understand your frustration, friend. please bear with me and my company Eeheheue oh god this is so fun ragecorptk: dude Neotanooki: ok, i will send it to you directly then ragecorptk: I am trying to run a business here too LOL ragecorptk: that is what you aren't understanding ragecorptk: I JUST CAN ADD THIS AND ADD THAT ragecorptk: I am the owner, but I am trying to keep this PROFESSIONAL ragecorptk: THIS IS IT, tell tim NO MORE ADDONS ragecorptk: THIS IS IT! ragecorptk: ok? ragecorptk: I know you mean well and you are a great guy ragecorptk: it's just you should have set up the deal before you made me put the banners up ragecorptk: but lets put this behind us Neotanooki: I agree, friend. Tim and I were in a screaming match for a good hour about this. ragecorptk: no way? ragecorptk: are you serious ragecorptk: this is simple linking Neotanooki: It was more regarding The Fuck Society's patriotism standards and all. especially after 911, yknow? ragecorptk: yeah ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: just please get my banners up by monday ragecorptk: that is all I ask ragecorptk: WHEN IS THE MUSIC GOING TO BE SENT TO ME? Neotanooki: I sent it ragecorptk: slackerwacker@msn.com ragecorptk: ??? Neotanooki: yes ragecorptk: I will add it when my banner are posted then Neotanooki: im afraid that goes against The Fuck Society's affiliate policy ragecorptk: wait, or do I have to add them before you put them up ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: I will add them now Neotanooki: Thanks, friend ragecorptk: FRONT PAGE ragecorptk: THATS IT Neotanooki: Thats perfect ragecorptk: from now on you guys will have to purchase add space (for any thing else) like everyone else! Neotanooki: thats fair. ragecorptk: I am opening my mailbox ragecorptk: I don't even know HOW TO EMBED MUSIC ragecorptk: I guess I will have to look it up Neotanooki: Oh, let me contact my web programmer about that one, friend ragecorptk: no ragecorptk: I have the tutorial for it ragecorptk: on my DREAMWEAVER PROGRAM ragecorptk: found it Neotanooki: Great! ragecorptk: It will be embeded with in a few minutes Neotanooki: :) ragecorptk: but I can only leave the music on for a week ragecorptk: HOWEVER ragecorptk: I will add a tribute to 9-11 in the LIT SECTION to make up for it BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAH AHHAAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHK 0ffffAAAHAAHHAHA HA..HA..... Neotanooki: Well, thats GREAT friend! Glad to see you acting so patriotically! Neotanooki: I'm sure President Bush would be very proud! :) ragecorptk: I don't like Bush ragecorptk: sorry, but I don't like him ragecorptk: I like collin Powell ragecorptk: and dick cheney what Neotanooki: html removed My head web programmer says this is how you embed midi files ragecorptk: but not bush Neotanooki: Yes, I like President Cheny too, friend! :) ragecorptk: no he is the vice president ZING Neotanooki: Oh right, whoops lol. :) ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: the midi file is uploaded to my ftp ragecorptk: I will have to embed it right now to the front page Neotanooki: Ok ragecorptk: how did your programmer say to embed it? Neotanooki: html removed ragecorptk: which means? ragecorptk: I just saw one blank Neotanooki: ohh im sorry Neotanooki: html removed Neotanooki: did that work? ragecorptk: nope Neotanooki: ok.. ragecorptk: CAN I TALK TO YOUR PROGRAMMER? What follows is an incredibly tedious amount of text in which i hold his hand through the step by step process of copying and pasting html. He somehow ended up deleting most of his html while trying to accomplish this feat ragecorptk: NOW MY TEXT ISN'T SHOWING UP ragecorptk: WHAT DID YOU DO!!! Neotanooki: Yes, i noticed that too ragecorptk: fuck Neotanooki: Dont panic, friend! ragecorptk: LOOK ragecorptk: just shut up right now ragecorptk: and let me fix it Neotanooki: Im sorry. I'll be quiet now ragecorptk: YOU FUCKED UP MY SITE ragecorptk: thanx asswhole Neotanooki: huh? Neotanooki: what did I do? ragecorptk: look at the site now ragecorptk: I AM NOT ADDING MUSIC ragecorptk: I DONT KNOW HOW ragecorptk: AND ITS SLOWS THE SITE DOWN AND FUCKS IT UP Oh no. Oh no no no. I'm not losing you now. DANCE PUPPET DANCE Neotanooki: i gave you the coding ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: your code messed it up ragecorptk: I JUST FIXED THE SITE Neotanooki: it looks like you deleted a large portion of your site when I view the html ragecorptk: its up now ragecorptk: I fixed it ragecorptk: NO MUSIC!!! Neotanooki: the midi file I gave was only 150k. shouldnt be a problem at all ragecorptk: I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK!!! Neotanooki: You dont want our partnership anymore? ragecorptk: IT SLOWS MY SITE DOWN and it drains my bandwidth ragecorptk: I want the partnership ragecorptk: BANNERS YES Neotanooki: Would it help if The Fuck Society would upload it? ragecorptk: look Neotanooki: you can use it from us! We affiliates help each other out ragecorptk: I added your banners ragecorptk: and I am adding the 9-11 tribute ragecorptk: WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: no music Neotanooki: Yes, I know that friend. We here at The Fuck Society are very grateful for that. But being the number one rated underground humor site in canada AND a featured honorable mention in the UK, we have higher affiliate standards. ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: I know that ragecorptk: but Neotanooki: I'm sorry, but our team needs music before we add you as an affiliate. ragecorptk: you know what ragecorptk: I am sorry, but ragecorptk: no music ragecorptk: you guys have chewed out $20 of advertising already ragecorptk: and everytime we speak you change the arrangement ragecorptk: I know that it is a business ragecorptk: BUT I AM NOT GOING TO BE DICKED AROUND Neotanooki: You would give up the immense amount of internet hits The FUck Society will give your humor site? ragecorptk: no ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: NO MUSIC Neotanooki: It is beyond me. But beleive me, this is the final agreement. We did this via contract. No more additions, this is settled ragecorptk: I CANT ADD MUSIC Neotanooki: people add midi files to their sites all the time. It's common practice ragecorptk: if you guys upload it then fine Neotanooki: We will! ragecorptk: IF YOU UPLOAD IT Neotanooki: Just say the word ragecorptk: NOW ragecorptk: GO FOR IT ragecorptk: WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM ME? Neotanooki: Yes sir ragecorptk: just give me the word ragecorptk: just email all the info to me ragecorptk: I GTG Neotanooki: I have an idea, friend Neotanooki: wait-- let me get the scripting ragecorptk: what? ragecorptk: ok Neotanooki: im making the script ragecorptk: slackerwacker@msn.com ragecorptk: email it to me Neotanooki: all you have to do is copy it into your site, and its done! ragecorptk: I will add it tomorrow ragecorptk: when I get a change ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: give it to me Neotanooki: It's sent! Neotanooki: All you have to do is copy and paste! ragecorptk: ok Neotanooki: It work ok? ragecorptk: I am opening inbox ragecorptk: got the code Open NOW and LET FREEDOM RING Neotanooki: Tell me when it's up on your site, friend ragecorptk: not working Neotanooki: What is it doing wrong? ragecorptk: it shows up as text ragecorptk: and not code Neotanooki: How odd ragecorptk: wait ragecorptk: try it now ragecorptk: did it work Neotanooki: YES! There it is! ragecorptk: IT WORKS Neotanooki: Great work, you're a more websavvy individual than myself! :) ragecorptk: ??? ragecorptk: ok ragecorptk: look ragecorptk: JUST GET MY BANNERS UP Neotanooki: Yes, I will do it at once friend! HAHAHA yes indeedy. Dave, get to work with our new partnership. chop chop ragecorptk: good ragecorptk: PLEASE GET THEM UP WITHIN 48 hours Neotanooki: Congradulations on our newfound partnership, friend! ragecorptk: good ragecorptk: thank you ragecorptk: when are my banners going to be up? Neotanooki: I will try my hardest to get the web developer in by saturday. ragecorptk: fine ragecorptk: just get them up Neotanooki: Yes sir ragecorptk: bye Neotanooki: goodbye, friend ragecorptk signed off at 10:06:13 PM. THE END
|
