I hate HATE. Err...wait a second...By: Xerjester06.28.02 "No really - it's not that I hate Americans..it's just those towers were so tackyŠI personally think another Starbucks would do nicely there with a neo-riche art deco kind of feel. Pardon, my frappacino is calling." Ever notice how people will spout tidbits of bigotry in conversation and then immediately try to cover their asses for it when you confront them? Seriously- it normally happens when you are in a situation where you are among friends ad one of them has brought someone new into the fold. Naturally this person has no idea about how your little social microcosm operates, so he's ( and I use the pronoun 'he' because it fits here, trust me ) bound to throw out casual quips of his thoughts/personality to gauge reaction and make decisions on how to continue. Think of it as the monkey testing which part of the electric fence will shock him the least. Ah, the American education system churns out another fine protégée. So, we'll take subject A: Stranger, athlete, born and bred on Southern idealism coupled with a rich-neighborhood mentality. I use subject A because he just happened to show up to my old apartment to help move the trappings of civilization we call "furniture" to the new apartment. You know these types: football players with souped-up mustangs. Jocks with too much money and too little sense. The type that appreciate the *COUGH* finer things in life such as football, mustangs, mechanics, beer, football, getting laid, bad rap music, football, low tired cars with flashy expensive rims, posing and preening for cheerleaders, and oh yes....football. Washed, dried, and ready for some locker-room homo-erogenous grab-ass. Look at the size of that towel, people! So ye olde All American Jock shows up brought by another friend ( who was on the rocks with us anyway, so this ain't helping him much ) and naturally begins throwing out hooks of his psyche to see if anyone bites. The hooks basically shaped up like this: "I hate stupid people." "I hate fags." Oh- you silver tongued Devil! Why oh WHY have we not presently had you at our social galas and soirees?! surely you are a man of utter taste and classical gentlemanly refinement! It doesn't get any prettier than this. Pot and the kettle, schnookie. Pot and the fucking kettle. -moron. And it went downhill from there. Unfortunately I was not present to have a tete a tete with the individual concerning his worldview. My friend Ben however, was. From what I gather, Subject A's defense of his hating "Stupid People" ran along the lines of "they're just stupid. and I hate that". Wow- self loathing's a bitch ain't it, Subject A? Because that has GOT to be the most idiotic thing I've heard come out of a Jock's mouth. And that's saying A LOT. (Oh, by the way, If you are a Jock and offended by this, and plan to come ring my "scrawny neck" because I'm obviously some English geek writing these lines because I didn't get picked for the football team, know this: I'm 6'2", 230 lbs, trained in the martial arts, and German. Come and get me, Sugah-britches. I'll be waiting.) Now, he continued on until he decided to change tactics and the second aforementioned quip about "fags" came tumbling out of that hole of stupidity he calls a mouth. So Ben caught him on this one too. And immediately being faced with adversity among these people, he immediately makes a desperate attempt to defend his bigotry. "I only hate the flaming ones..the normal ones are ok and I don't mind them being around..I just hate the flaming ones y'know?" "It's raaaaaaaaaaaaiiinin' men. Hallelujah, it's raaaaaaaaiiinin' men, aaaaay-men!" yelled one participant in the local Christians on Parade day. Christ- his entire point afterwards basically summed up that his idea of "flaming " was anyone courageous enough to admit openly that they are Gay. So the "normal' ones must be the ones too afraid to come out of the closet because of people like you right? You like those don't you? The ones you called "normal fags" because you can't tell if they are homosexual or not right? Oh I get it. Your stupidity and blind hatred make perfect sense when you put it that way. Thank you , oh guru. I love people like this. I do- especially the jocks who think they can back up whatever they say with threats and muscle. I love these idiots. They, for lack of a better word, make me smile. I love meeting these guys in conversation and derailing whatever train of thought they choose to run with. This type of fundamentalism- yes it's fundamentalism in the fact that they are fundamentally idiots- is precisely along the lines of what I discussed earlier with the "Hardcore Christians". it's the same type of non-thinking but in a different context. One worships blindly and acts accordingly. Where's my money, bitch? I swear to Dad I'll headbutt you again if you don't front me mah damn benjamins. One hates blindly and acts accordingly. Burn a Jew AND know when lunch is. The Fuher ALWAYS has the time, baby! The other similarity you'll find is when you get these people alone and corner them on their beliefs. Without their support group, Hard-core Christians will fluster and break down to name-calling, sometimes violence. Bad heathen. Bad. No Jesus for you. Without their drinking-buddies, bigots will fluster and break down to name-calling, sometimes violence. "Hank Williams SENIOR!" *crack* "Hank Williams JUNIOR!!" *smack* "Fuck you- less filling!" *wham* " Tastes GREAT, you pompous ass!" *whap* They are so sure of themselves, and yet will keep silent or otherwise conform when they are presented with a group of people who do not share their views and they have no one else that is backing up their flawed perception of things. Safety in numbers my ass. So what's the lesson? Fundamentalists are dangerous in large groups, are blinded by their beliefs, and are categorically cowards when confronted on their own. Yeah, makes you want to hop on their bandwagon, doesn't it? These people represent the dregs of humanity: Ku Klux Klan, Skinheads, Neo-Nazi's, anti-semantics, Terrorists, Guerillas, Hardcore Christians, Southern Baptists (you know who you are), and Cult-activists. Different agendas. Different goals. All the same unifying factor: blinded by their beliefs beyond all reason. Pick a group- any of them. It will have the same structure (albeit with different titles) with the same motivation (albeit with different names) and the same way of doing things publicly: Do things to grab attention and convince as many of the onlookers as possible that your way is right and recruit them. That's it. It's all simple propaganda. Be it pamphlets, cross-burnings, public demonstrations, or suicide bombings, all are the same tactic of the situationist fundamental mind, all are redundant, and all are dangerous to the uninformed. Be informed. Be knowledgeable. Be ready. Knowing is half the battle, hombre. Today's experiment was conceived thanks to the prejudice of Subject A. Hold an "Anti-Rally". Gather 20 or so willing (THAT'S WILLING) volunteers and hold a public demonstration. Choose the object or concept of your newfound hatred and hold the rally accordingly complete with signs and banners. If you have the time and money, make shirts, caps and buttons so that your group will look like honest-to-goodness nutjobs. "I'm collecting for the Support Your Local equal Opportunity Serial Killer's Fud. Anyone at home? Hee hee heeeeeeeeeeŠŠ." Have a "anti-Trees" rally in the middle of a park. Conduct a public demonstration against poppy-seed buns in front of a Burger King. Thrash against the corporate walls of America by denouncing Pin-Stripe suits in front of a Bank. It can be anything you wish to hate. Hell, wax ironic and have an "Anti-Rally" rally. A slightly older, slightly fatter and slightly wiser Unibomber is on hand for this Hallmark moment. Make noise, hand out informational pamphlets backed with all manner of made-up facts your "public relations staff" cooked up to defend your view. Have your more well-versed haters walk into the crowds and converse with the masses about your "club" and what you are trying to do. Convert as many as you can. Get names on a tablet. Get email addresses for your "newsletter". Be dramatic as you chant whatever verse you conjured up: " Sawdust Forever! Live Trees Never! " Get the media's attention if you can- that is if the authorities don't arrive first. But if they do, no worries. Hold your ground- 1st amendment and all that you know. The idea here, if you have not noticed, is to show people how utterly ridiculous your cause is, but that it is EXACTLY in the spirit of other hate-groups and THEIR rallies. Point out with your own actions how stupid these things really are, and thusly the people who participate in them. Show them what for, and make sure they get your names spelled right in the Papers. Tactic #24 to hide your pornography addiction. Thanks for the tutoring, Ass-Slapper! A little understanding goes a long way- even if you have to resort to the lowest common denominator to get your message across. All you need is love, people. Have fun. -Ciao. |