a n i m a t i o n . w o r d s & p i c t u r e s . f o r u m
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E/N GaloreBy: Josh02.09.01 Before I started this dot-communism phenomenon two and-a-half weeks ago, I used the Internet solely to download songs off of Napster and visit FUCKSOCIETY. There was the odd site here and there, usually links off FUCKSOCIETY, but the point is that I knew nothing of the Internet,.php, webcams, or E/N. I still have no-fuckin'-clue what E/N means, except: "MONEY!" I had no clue that every single webpage out there is completely unoriginal and identical to all others in it's respective genre, and also that most of them are butt-fucking stupid to boot. So of course, as soon as I started to find all this out, I had to write about it, in this, my E/N GALORE! spectacular. We've got so much E/N shit that it's coming out our assholes. Wait...nevermind.  STILEPROJECT As far as this whole E/N thing goes, Stileproject seems to be the all mighty leader, though I have no fucking clue as to why. So he's been around longer than anyone else has, and he supposedly has a lot of content, but where the fuck is this "content?" Honestly, did I miss something? There's more links to porn there than on an actual porn site, but I wouldn't want to go there looking for porn when you have no clue whether you're gonna see a dead, mutilated body, or some actual nudity? Just go to a porn site, Jesus. So Stile has some e-cards, and I don't know what the fuck they are, but they look, and sound stupid, so let's move on. There's also a "store" that sells t-shirts, a chat room, some geek/girl/song of the month type shit, and daily, or close enough to, updates. And what, you might ask, is in these updates. MORE PORN and pictures of other people doing interesting things, and the aforementioned dead and/or mutilated bodies. Maybe you could claim that he's writing about popular Entertainment News, or some dumb ass thing, but really, he doesn't do all but two things; jack and shit. How can anyone think he's talented when all he's doing is displaying other people's work? Oh, but he does have an Internet poll every month. Wait, I changed my mind; who couldn't love a man with a poll? 
You may have noticed that Stileproject is the second link up on FUCKSOCIETY, but fuck you, OF COURSE HE IS, why wouldn't he be? He's the most popular E/N site out there, and if he would give FUCKSOCIETY the attention it deserves, than I'm sure we'd all fellatially please him for the attention it would garner, but until then, we're gonna have to put him down. A LOT. It's only a three-fuckin'-milimeter space out of his way to link FUCKSOCIETY. I mean, half the sites he's linked to suck ass anyway, so why not have one more? And don't you think I'm merely being critical because he hasn't linked FUCKSOCIETY you judgmental pricks, everything I said was everything I thought when I first went there.  CLOUD 10 Okay, the general consensus among E/N webmasters is that they have to have porn to look at, dick and fart jokes that overstep any previously set boundaries of taste or humor, a chat room or forum for their brain dead fans to discuss the deep, and meaningful purpose that E/N serves all of us. You're bound to run across some flash cartoons and more of those stupid fucking polls that are everywhere. And those pesky little updates telling us SHIT about JACK SHIT that goes on in their lives. FUCK YOU, YOU ARROGANT ASSHOLES! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR GOD DAMNED LIFE! This one is mostly porn, they have a TV show apparently, and too much Howard Stern. Well, do you really need anything else? No. No you don't. They suck too; I have no idea why this site is so popular. "It's all dick!" according to Mr. Lennon, and he was right. That was the picture CLOUD 10's webmaster posted in his bio, i swear. But who really cares anyway, let's continue.  FUGLY Okay, this site is nothing new, which is no surprise. I should have just summed this all up in one paragraph, and attached all their names at the end. Remember that all E/N sites are basically identical, and they're all linked to each other in some imperialistic snubbing of FUCKSOCIETY. How can these guys be so popular? There's nothing new here, a different layout maybe, a large amount of content, but fuck, I wasn't even inspired to read anything there to review it, it just sucked. Oh yeah, those pesky E/N webmasters also decided that if a dozen new E/N sites popped up every week, than the demand would be graciously met with high-quality content, and ground-breaking material. BAH! ! ! ! Got MILK? What? Why is this here? That makes no sense. Okay, I'm getting a little too long-winded here, but there's more: "BadAssMofo" sucks, "Ernie's House of Whoop Ass" sucks, "Dot-Communist" sucks, and all the rest suck too. If any of them are linked to FUCKSOCIETY, it's just cause Dave is, or is at least trying to, use them for the publicity it could acquire. Suckas. I only linked them here 'cause the red is just so damn pretty. Plus, there's a chance that they'll end up here, and I just don't know if I could live if that happened, so linking them increases my chances that they'll see this, and snub FUCKSOCIETY some more. Dicks. WEBCAMS This is a weird, unexplained phenomenon. I asked Dave what the fuck the appeal of watching another person staring at their computer on your own computer was, and he told me that people like to jerk off to them. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? There are women out there whose sites are just a webcam, and some inconsequential jibba jabba about themselves that no one could possibly ever read. I asked Dave if they realized that people go there just to ejaculate while staring at them; he said that some of them were probably in denial about it. Then -THEN- these elitist cracka ass cam dipshits all get together and put their cams on these cam PORTALS, so it's like an orgy for all the fanboys out here.  
  CHELLECAM One in particular caught my attention though, and that was Michelle Somethingorother, at chellecam, This cam whore is the crème de la crème of voyeuristic - narcissistic - "OH look at me, I'm sooo pretty!" I went through her archives, and there are pictures of her blow-drying her HAIR, posing for ass shots on the lawn, and just plain old shots of her cat for all you sick beastiality-type motherfuckers. I HATE HER! Of course every girly cam site is the same as chellecam's, I don't know whose was first though, but she seems to be the most popular. She's on everyone's cam portals, EVEN STILE's. WOW! So you know I want her. She's also linked to all of the above sites too, I think. I guess they like their own kind. 
I know what you're all thinking; you're all thinking why is there a slide whistle at the end of Matlocks theme song E-Reverend? Well I can't help you there, I know it detracts from any serious subject matter they try to convey in the hour proceeding that one slide, but IŠjustŠcan'tŠexplainŠit. And why, oh God why, does He-Man punch our television screens after claiming to be the "MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!"? Does he feel the need to prove it to us by beating the living shit out of all the kids watching at home? In all seriousness now, you're probably thinking, isn't FUCKSOCIETY an E/N site E-Reverend? Isn't it? Well, do you see porn? Or an Internet poll, or a chat room, a forum, or a webcam? Wait, okay except for that last one there, but yes, I guess it is. But its not like there was anything to do about it, is there? WE LIVE TO ENTERTAIN ! ! ! FUCKSOCIETY wasn't gonna break any new ground in E/N, but at least it was known from the start. Even the exact crap I just wrote has been done before by everyone. Everything I've ever written has been written before, and better. IT'S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE! Hell, some of these sites have a dozen people running 'em, and THEY'RE ALL INFERIOR. I'm not tooting any horns here, 'cause I have the least to do with FUCKSOCIETY than anyone, but some of the most popular sites are utter shite, but get way too much credit. Ah, fuck it, what am I complaining about here? It's not like I'd be any happier if you all came here. I think you're idiots, even more so for going to those sites up there, and this one in fact. BAH! |
