a n i m a t i o n . w o r d s & p i c t u r e s . f o r u m
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Atheists and AgnosticsBy: Josh04.13.01  Someone asked me recently why I only
bash Christians or Catholics, that the world is full of many religions to poke
fun at to my whimsy. And, she was right, there are, but there's just so much the
Bible and Christians in particular have to offer. The fact that the Bible is still
so entrenched in our judicial system (forgive the spelling, my computer's still
shitting on me) is laughable and quite depressing. For instance, I lost all my
personal identification a while ago, and we wont get into the Catch 22-cycle of
getting id when you have none (it's funny how that works, or doesn't work, rather)
but the first step to take was to go to the courthouse and swear on the Bible
that I was who I said I was. Think about that. It's funny how much weight can
be put behind a dusty old children's story. They recorded my statement, for posterity's
sake, and off I went. Makes me wish I'd claimed to be Pee-Wee Herman, or, at best,
Jesus Christ himself. Does it make a difference the Bible means nothing to me?
They might as well have asked me to swear on a rusty old paper clip for all I
cared, in fact I would have preferred it, I just needed to buy cigarettes and
alcohol, and I'm lost without my "proof of age" cards. That's just a small personal
example of Gideon's little, red friend and it's leech-like status to the government. I've seemed to have lost track here, but I thought today I'd address some of the non-thumpers: Atheists and agnostics, silly puddings that they are. Let's take a look shall we? First off, Atheists: they sneeze, you say "God bless you," you get "I don't believe in your God". They're so proud and just plumb dumb in their going around making sure people know they don't believe in God. So what DO they believe in? That statement only implies that they believe, but not in God. Are they in denial? Are they coming to grips? Do they believe that we are slave bi-products of a half-breed race between apes and aliens, left to our own devices when the aliens abandoned the pyramids and took back off into space? My Dad, an atheist, would say yes. Who knows? I'm sure twenty-one years with a Catholic wife has him just reaching for anything that makes more sense than the God-Damned Bible.  To summarize: Atheists are idiots, because they treat the whole ordeal like rebellious teenagers who don't wanna admit that their parents really do get to make the rules while they live in a house owned by those parents.  and Agnostics - will you ever learn? This idea is basically founded by the belief that there is a God, they just want to cover all the bases and not claim to follow any one specific one. Fucking pricks, this is what we like to call a cop-out. *example* "Yeah, there's a God, he wants us to be good. I like God, and I'm going to heaven" "Oh, cool, so what religion are you?" "I'm an agnostic." "Fuck's that?" "Means I don't really believe in any religions, just God." "oh." "Yeah,so I get to go to heaven cause of it, and it doesn't matter WHICH God it is, cause I believed in him all along." "Uhm, okay asshole, so you're saying you believe in God, but not any one of the pre-defined Gods, until you die, you'll get to go to heaven, and whichever God is there, will be your new God?" "...........basically." *punch to the stomach - take his wallet - kick him in groin to prevent future agnostic babies from escaping and breeding further stupidity* *end example* So Agnostics, in short, are idiots who like to cover their asses. Atheists who have taken a step further down the evolutionary ladder.  Plus you have all different philosophies to
mis-represent whenever possible. Nihilism for instance, really bang-up idea, involving
a "skepticism" that claims to deny all religions, values, governments theories
and/or beliefs. Problem with this is, you can't go around claiming to be a Nihilist,
because it basically nulls the whole situation be having you believe in Nihilism
and/or Nihilism as a belief of theory to have. So, unless you can convince your
friends to tell all the people who you want to impress that you're "cool" and
"just don't give a fuck," then you're an idiot too... and a hypocrite. Tip of the iceberg people, Nihilism in itself is pretty much a contradiction, "a structured theory meant to instill chaos" I suppose you would say, not much to it. Well, that's it for me. Nothing like leaving off with some Savior Porn... 
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